A Balanced Approach: How Empathy and Discipline Coexist

The question I’ve been pondering these days is how to mix empathy with discipline. In relating to a spouse, disciplining a child, building up a disciple, I believe we will encounter a conflict within our minds as to how you can show that you understand while at the same time enforcing your counter belief. While sorting through such issues in our mind, we find ourselves falling on either extreme; giving in, being “whipped” (or “whoopa” as Chanler Bing would say), having no backbone to someone who is seen as narrow-minded, stubborn and arrogant. I personally don’t want to be characterized in either extreme.

So the question goes back to how we are able to show empathy while expressing an opposing standpoint.

First of all, accountability requires a hard hand AND a gentle ear, it is up to us to know when to speak and when to listen, when to argue and when to back down, when to hug and when to walk away. But that’s stating the obvious, the hard part is knowing when to do what :)

Timing is everything. I wish I came close to understanding the power of timing for it actually makes all the difference in finding peace during conflicts, in critiquing someone’s work or performance, or in correcting a person in his/her sin.

The HardAss Extreme
Wouldn’t it be nice if all we needed to do is enforce the law every chance we got? There would be no need for discernment, no use for sensitivity. Have you ever encountered people who do everything by the book, who see everything as black and white, true or false? I commend them for their bold beliefs and strong opinions however absolute certainty can either be the result of great wisdom or plain naivety.

The WimpingOut Extreme
Or on the flip side, wouldn’t it be nice if we avoided every sticky conflict that lingered among those in our circle of friends. Ignorance is bliss. Today’s society uses tolerance as an excuse to avoid the tension that comes with confronting issues among friends. We would much rather let someone dig their own grave then to have one awkward conversation that could possibly either turn them off or open their eyes.

Take God for Example..

I would say that the best example in knowing how to balance these two extremes is to look at how God speaks to us. Isn’t it interesting how God speaks to us through Rhema (a word that God speaks to you directly) rather than simply Logos (the Written Word only) alone. God could have simply published that Bible avoided the hassle of conversing with us and commanded us to just do everything that is written. However he knew the importance of communicating certain words, ideas or corrections in a timely manner. God lays out his standard by giving us his Logos, but he also uses wisdom and sensitivity in knowing when to reveal different aspects of the written word through his Rhema.

We can take two important points from this perspective:

ONE.Make our standard and moral code clear and obvious through the life we live. Considering how God provided us with his is written word (Logos), we also need to make our lives a clear script of what we stand for. Unless you want to write a book entitled (your name)’s Book of Moral Standard, the only way people will know what we stand for is simply by the way we live. So let the life you live yell and scream the standards you uphold, let it echo so loud that it paints a clear picture to those around you of what you think is right and wrong.

TWO.Know whom you are speaking to. I believe that God reveals certain convicting words to us in perfect time because he knows our circumstances inside out. He knows what we are ready for, and what we would fail to handle. Half the battle in correcting a friend is understanding him/her. Without understanding you treat correction with greater regard then the one in whom you are correcting. You become one who loves the law more than those in whom you enforce those laws upon. If I give a strong corrective biblical word to a brother “…but have not love, I am nothing.” (1 Cor 13:1-3).

The RHEMA word of God has everything to do with Timing. God is the master at conflict resolution, restoration to the backslidden, and correction to the rebel. He has converted the hardest of hearts into pudding by revealing his word (standard) in the flesh through the life of Jesus and by knowing what gives us joy, makes us love, pushes us to climb, and drags us to our knees in repentance. He shows us and knows us.

What an amazingly gracious and sovereign God we serve.

INVISIBLE CRUELTY: The Power of Subtle Disregard

My eyes have recently been opened to the power of ignorance and disregard. The more I speak with hurt and lonely individuals, the more I have observed that subtle disregard is how the current state of humanity is slowing declining into depression, loneliness and insecurity.

Chronic disgregard stings more than an argument, punch in the face, or harsh words. It tares a person apart from the inside out. It builds a bitterness inside of us that can be suppressed for a time until it reaches its limit. Hurtful words can be dealt with, rebuttled against, however no words at all leaves a person helpless. Being ignored implies that you aren't worth a fight, makes you feel like the whole world's against you.

Think about it for a second, if someone yells at you, at least you have an enemy, someone to place the blame on. Being disregarded makes everyone an enemy, everyone who chooses not to care, to speak, or to pay attention.

I'd even say that bad attention beats no attention.

It's as if we have found a subtle approach to hurt people, so subtle that we ourselves don't even realize that we are doing it.

We hurt people by do nothing at all.

Community and care is losing the race to individualism. People don't stretch their hand to the broken anymore. We find impersonal means to satisfy our humanitarian quota, means that simply require money, signatures on petitions or clicks to vote on a web site. "Hands on" care has become to degrading to the average person. Uncomfortable conversations with awkward people, handshakes with the homeless, are rewarded with a pat on the back or comments such as "I don't know how you do it". When did such things suddenly become an act of charity, an abnormal action that extends beyond the status quo, beyond what the "average" person would attempt.

The sad reality is that our current society views this as "above an beyond" when our past and other parts of the world consider it normal. "above and beyond" builds an aritifical wall that we feel we need to climb in order to help others. "above and beyond" builds a class system which boxes us into a certain way of giving/not giving.

I believe we need to raise the bar of "above and beyond". Normal needs to include sacrifice, dirt and uncomfort, for if the bar continues to fall society will lose the meaning of selflessness.

As I said in the beginning, my eyes have just recently been opened to this tragic reality. I feel horrible to think that I have contributed to this epidemic of disregard. We need to start looking at the small things we do, we need to look so closely to pick up on the smallest things of all, which is probably the things we don't do.

It's important to examine ourselves time to time, not for only the bad things we do, but for the worldview we have created that limits our vision of those who we know need our attention.

A Place of Exchange

More than ever before I truly believe that gathering with like-minded individuals is what creates a powerful atmosphere where the Spirit of God can move. Everytime I see God move powerfully, it is within groups that share a strong cahoots (i like that word:).

This past weekend I met together with just over 20 campus leaders from Ontario in what we called "A Place of Exchange". God moves whether we know it or not, we were simply privilaged enough to tap into what God was doing and notice the common vision and direction we were all pursuing. You notice glimpses of a movement when parties from different locations are singing the same tune and stepping in sync with the beat and rhythem of the of the Holy Spirit. Simply connecting the dots between these like-minded individuals is how we decided to meet.

As each person entered the room I could see in each face a sense of expectation. Each without an idea of what to expect I believe we all knew that this meeting was special. We greeted one another and started to sing, meditate and welcome the Holy Spirit to be in our midst.


It felt Safe. Although we did not know each other very well, I sensed an atmosphere of humility with all masks down. I hardly even noticed pride or self-glorification, which is odd not to have in a group of leaders. I think we all knew that this meeting was about something so much bigger than ourselves.

The gathering was an intersection. A place where our paths will begin to crash and collide with those pursing a common vision. And as those lines cross, we are believing for divine sparks to fly, creating a synergetic movement of intercessors, evangelists, pioneers, miracle workers, prophets and church planters. We want to see the body working with all its parts trained, developed and ready for battle. We worshiped, prayed for those discouraged on their campus and shared what we felt the Holy Spirit lead us to speak. It was simple but powerful. We ended our time by revealing a huge banner that was created 5 years ago that had the background of downtown toronto with the words "Your Kingdom Come Your will be Done.... You are the light of the world a city on a hill cannot be hidden..let your light shine before men that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in Heaven."
It was a symbol of a baton that would be passed from campus to campus. The banner was given to MAC and will make its way through each University throughout this year.

MAC
Although much was said in this gather, we have yet to hear the stories in MAC and how they have seen salvation through outdoor worship and prayer. They have put their pride and reputation on the line for the sake of welcoming the Holy Spirit onto their campus. Though they look foolish in the eyes of man, I believe God is proud of who they are and how high they hold that lamp up in the sky.

UofT scarb
Not much has been spoken of the boldness of those in UofT Scarborough and their interactions through outdoor worship to those of different spiritual, cultural and ethnic background. God is really using this group to touch the spiritually hungry people on their campus. Their act of outdoor worship and prayer alone is drawing peoples attention to the name of Jesus and the authentic pursuit of His followers.

UofT st.george
We have heard little of the vision in UofT St. George whose passion for prayer and evangelism has given shape to what they call a Rafflian Revolution. A revolution of discontented radicals who are fed up with mediocrity and who feel called to see His kingdom come on their campus. I have heard stories of them doing prayer walks around Robarts and other parts of campus, claiming ground in the spiritual and setting the stage for his glory to fall.

The stories are beginning to grow from campus to campus, and we are starting to see a move of God brewing in the Universities of Ontario like I personally haven't seen before.

To those who attended the Gathering...
We've only scratched the surface and seen mere glimpses of what God will do. I'm crazy excited to see what happens when we actually start becoming more radically obedient to the Word of God. Like I said guys, we ain't following any strategies or concepts, God is doing a new thing. Originality and strategy will come when we seek his will and follow what the Word tells us to do. We cannot expect to do anything more than read his word and obey his commands, for I believe it is this obedience that will express a sweeter fragrence of worship to our King, and a more fierce flow of Love to our Father.

Songs of Love are great, but it's funny how much we can sing and how little we can obey. Jesus simply states that "If you love me, you will obey what I command" John 14:15. God is working differently on each campus, and it is imparitive that we understand how to respond to what God is doing. How we respond will depend on what God is revealing to you in the Bible. Therefore reading his word and obeying his commands is the only strategy that will work. Use resources to assist your obedience to his word rather than using the word of God to assist the strategy of our resource. If God is going to move any differently than he did before, it's going to require workers who have big ears, flexible minds and a small head :)

So let us begin to raise up a new generation of workers who hold tightly to his words and do nothing other than what those word say.

I look foward to gathering with you all again soon in January.

Friends, if you felt connected in anyway to this entry please begin to pray for God to continue moving on the campuses of Ontario. Pick a University or College and start making it apart of your daily prayers. Thanks everyone.

I DO know that I DON'T know

"When I was young I was sure of everything; in a few years, having been mistaken a thousand times, I was not half so sure of most things as I was before; at present, I am hardly sure of anything but what God has revealed to me"
John Wesley

It's funny how we can be so sure of our plans one day and be confused another. This may not be the case for most, but I'm sure some would agree that this fickle mentality can paralyze one from reaching there dreams and desires. How does one make a decision when his plans are constantly evolving from one destination to another. When do the pictures and dreams narrow down? How does one pick from a wall that hangs 100's of frames, each with a different vision? When can I put my finger down on that spinning globe that shows so many places I could spend my life?

Decisions in the beginning of a journey appear impossible to make for it is that one step in a certain direction that carries with it a load of promises, commitment, labour and perseverance. The choice to march through such rough terrain begins at that first step. So yeah, it's friggin hard to make that step!

I often say that "it's better to walk in the wrong direction then no direction at all, cause at least your not standing still waiting for something to happen to or for you", however I must humbly admit that the reality of such a step is far more difficult then such a line lets on.

Whether it be a decision to marry, to move away to another city, start a new job, take on a different ministry or foreign University, that first step is freak'in hard to take. That step implies change which is the ultimate uncertainty of life. Change moves you off the track of familiarity to one of risk, and let's be honest, who wants that?

I've come to a point in my life where I can reflect upon my victories and failures and conclude that I… "don't know". I don't know, I just DON'T KNOW. Ask me a question and I'll have an answer but ultimately I have no idea. In the past I've been sure of myself on certain matters to later find out that I… "don’t know".

However I DO know that I DON'T know. I DO know that I DON'T know the perfect ministry style, the answers to every question on morality and spirituality, the solutions to unfruitful Christianity, or whatever other topic I appear to have a grasp on. For all I know is that I myself don't know. Even though I may not be exactly where John Wesley was in what he called at the time "the present", I believe I am coming to that place before his "present". A place where one reaches the end of himself. It's often difficult to hear his revealed word when I know I am still here. I am fading, sometimes not even by choice but non the less, Jesse is fading.

As I fade, let his voice drown my will.

I've always thought of being "on Fire" as an excited, happy, passionate state where one spiritually feels on top of the world. However, I just recently realized how hot and uncomfortable being "on Fire" can be :) …

Purity burns.

So to close this thought, when one realizes he 'doesn't know', it's difficult to take a step.
However, as much as I don't know, it's amazing that I DO know that I am where God wants me to be. As dark and depressing as this blog may be, I am glad to be where I am today. These next few months will be crucial, but more than ever before, I'm waiting on him, leaning my ear attentively to hear the whisper that directs my path.

You gotta love adventures!

Please keep me in your prayers friends.

...so be it.

I recently came back from LA where I attended the Supernatural Conference in westwood UCLA. We had worship, prayer, word and practical application. The application part of the conference was what stirred my faith up the most I'd say. We were asked to go out into Westwood to bless the community with prayer, prophetic words and deed. It was a scary, humiliating and humbling experience to say the least.

Considering how public my ministry is, it is so easy to feel like I am being vocal and bold in my faith when actually my light and confidence most often shines within the four walls of the church. But it's easy to be spiritual in a spiritual setting right? God has been challenging me since I've come back from my trip to Indonesia this summer to BURN away my pride and start begin alittle more foolish for Christ. To lay my reputation and position on the line for the sake of obedience.

I was challenged by a new friend this September to move on beat with the unction of the Holy Spirit rather then the rhythm of my minds logic. I cannot be afraid to offend, to step on some toes, to be radical or undiplomatic. How easy it is for us to fear man's opinion more than God's wouldn't you say? We have more conversations about differing human opinions than we do about God's stand point on the matter.

I think it is possible to make sacrifice's for the kingdom while remaining disobedient to the king. Why else would Samuel condemn Saul with words such as "to obey is better than sacrifice", this quote alone reveals that there exists a distinction between obedience and sacrifice. I actually believe that sacrifice often distracts us from obedience. Busy, occupied individuals don't have the time to consider how effective their actions are. Sacrifice takes power, energy and passion, but it is possible to expend it all on the wrong areas of life. A man working in the office till midnight everyday sacrifices for money to provide extra toys and luxuries meanwhile fails to spend time teaching his son good character and strong integrity. Much sacrifice, little efficiency.

Sacrifice can be done independently while obedience requires a cooperation between two parties, it involves a relationship, a submission, a trust. Obedience directs us to the goals and visions of Christ rather than where we think our sweat and labour should leads. Obedience requires an attentive ear that hears the heartbeat of a God who is Sovereign over all and knows what is best for our future. Obedience is a Sacrifice, a sacrifice of our own voice so that his will would be done on earth as it echos and manifests in heaven.

So if obedience requires my pride, my flesh, my rationality, my diplomacy and reputation... so be it.

"...YOUR KINGDOM COME, YOUR WILL BE DONE..."

How Far I've Come, and How much Further I Need to Go

It's amazing how powerful the presence of God can be. This weekend was one of the most intense times I've had in a long time. I have come to the last night of my trip here in LA after a week of intense prayer, solitude, training and good eating. The excitement started the night I arrived in the LAX airport in LA, my first destination was of course to the famous IN & OUT burger joint (if you haven't tried it, you have yet to taste the food we'll be getting in heaven).

I then went to the start of a 24hr Prayer gathering in a friends home near the UCLA campus. The room was filled with students so desiring the presence of God. It was a murmer of sincere, genuine prayer like I haven't heard in a long time, a place of little to non self-glorification or attention seeking. It's rare to find such places of worship.

That night God revealed to me a passage in 1 Corinthians which talks about the freedom we have when the Spirit of the Lord is manifest in our life. God revealed to me that his hand of discipline comes with conviction not condemnation, with all love and no fear. That difference between conviction and condemnation is a difficult distinction to make for it creates a similar reaction within our mind. The difference is that conviction, although it still stings, brings hope, while condemnation leaves you trapped in a web of negativity. Condemnation sucks the essence out of life, extingusihes the flame, the passion burning in our heart. Conviction contributes a wider perspective, a larger tank to swim in, a higher mountain to climb. Conviction acknowledges how far you've come while pointing out how much further you need to go. Condemnation shows how far you are from where you need to be without acknowledging how far you've come. It seems so easy to ignore the journey that brought me where I am today while focusing all my attention on the long hard road ahead of me. Considering both the past and the future all at once can be a difficult task, but it is a necessary perspective when it comes to moving forward in life.

This was the first revelation I received on this trip which paved the way for more as the week continued.

Gaining Ground

Whether my destination appears clear or not, I believe that I am where I am for a reason. The uncertainty of my direction in life has always been a struggle to overcome. The question is whether it's even up to me to overcome it. Mysteries in life are usually seen as a weakness, a liability rather than a vehicle of hope and faith. I know that when it comes to my future, the unknown is a terrifying reality.

However, God is a good God who assures us in our uncertainty and leads us through the darkness. The message God has been making clear to me these days is that I'm gaining ground. I may not always see the fruit of my labour, or reap the benefits of what I have sown, but I have an assurance in my heart that I am gaining ground. It's amazing how God can turn our weakness into strength (2 Cor. 12:9-10), our mistakes into an elimination processes :), our pride into holes in which we fall into (Prov. 16:18). God is molding me to walk through the unknown spaces, the roads less traveled, where the path is not laid out, and where the terrain is thick and mysterious. I love adventures, and lately I feel like I've been thrown into one that is more than I can handle. It's like I'm running through a forest with a strong but vague conviction and purpose in my heart uncertain of the next turn within my journey.

I'm excited! Ready for a new Challenge to overcome.